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Funny dating metaphors

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Awkward first datesweirdos on Tinder, ghostingthe list goes on and Funny dating metaphors For some much-needed comic relief, here are 23 tweets that perfectly sum up the struggles of being single.

Humans bored on Earth are like "Look, there's water on that cold, distant, unattainable Funny dating metaphors and that's also a good metaphor for dating. Sometimes I'm sad I'm single; sometimes I find half a cranberry muffin under my comforter -- life's a roller coaster ya just gotta ride.

I am 36 and live with 2 guinea pigs.

I need a husband just so I'll have someone Funny dating metaphors hold my stuff when I need to use the bathroom at Funny dating metaphors airport Funny dating metaphors. The best part about being single is that I always get to wear the most comfortable underwear! Prob the debilitating loneliness! When your date says "I want to keep you. Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I Funny dating metaphors have to be Funny dating metaphors 19 months pregnant.

Told my mother to get me something nice while in Croatia, her answer "I don't think he'll fit in my suitcase" Cute guy is looking at you at the bar. Realize football game is on behind you. The closest thing Funny dating metaphors get to a cute text is when Netflix emails me about a new Funny dating metaphors I might like singleproblems sothoughtful netflixisbae.

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Just did a back bend to zip my dress singleproblems af. There should be a "National Thirdwheel's Day" so my Funny dating metaphors friends Funny dating metaphors celebrate Funny dating metaphors. News Politics Entertainment Communities.

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I need a husband just so I'll have someone to hold my stuff when I need Funny dating metaphors use the bathroom at the airport singleproblems — Jaime Kessler jaimek September 5, Funny dating metaphors did a back bend to zip my dress singleproblems af — Andrea andmcelaney August 8, I filled out a dating profile and all I'm compatible with is sleep.

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