This is the first post in
Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing month long series on sex, love, and relationships. To protect the anonymity of the CFs and so that we may speak more freely, many of us will be posting this month under the Collective pseudonym CrunkAsHell. We will also let you know whenever a post is NSFW not safe for work. Like most conservative Christian folks, I grew up that sex was reserved for marriage.
For my sexual experiences were laden with guilt. I routinely went years at a time with no sexual contact, until I would finally, in a fit of weakness give in to my urges. I was caught in a continual cycle of self-denial, self-indulgence, guilt, confession, rinse and repeat, topped off by five years of celibacy. I was treating sex as if it were a bad habit that I desperately needed to break. All of that is a prelude to a confession: And I have sex.
At my former church, I spent at least one Friday a month, hanging with Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing dynamic, beautiful, thoughtful, educated sisters of faith who did ministry work.
These women were not stuffy; they were totally real: And so inevitably there would be the roll call of who had been celibate the So while I love these women and while I believe we love the same God, I do not love their sexual ethics.
I do not think one can live and thrive in them. For me, Christianity is too much about grace, too much about freedom to engender the continual guilt, frustration, and anxiety, which I continually confronted merely for expressing my sexual selfhood. Surely there must be a better way. But a loophole is not what I needed. I needed a bigger view of God. Our churches rarely even preach celibacy to men. So when I recognized the way social conditions and religious guilt shaped my options for partnering, I began to ask different questions about my relationship to God, to the Bible, and to faith.
Because my friends were following the rules, to a tee, and yet the rewards elude d them. I refuse any longer to live a fear-driven life, based upon a set of rules that mete out punishment and reward based on how well I perform.
I think Jesus
Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing to free us from performance driven living.
As women, we are no stranger to performance driven lives, which often leave us empty and unfulfilled as we try to be all things to all people. For Black women who are already forced to be superhuman in every other aspect of the world, our faith space, personal and communal, can only be liberatory when it permits us to be fully human, sexuality and all. If we choose to be honest and intentional, we can build life-affirming intimate relationships, both inside and outside of marriage.
AIDS is real, fam. Sex is a form of creative power. And it is in the literal fact of its creative aspects that we feel alive, human, and connected. think God wants nothing less than this for us, and that requires regular, intimate connections of bodies, or at the very least a very regular, intentional and unapologetic intimate connection with our own body.
So sex is back on the table for me in an emotionally safe Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing connection with another person. Because marriage or no, I am clear about this one thing: If YOU want to have sex then you have the choice.
However you will be held accountable for minipulating the word of God to make what you are doing okay. Young Christians who read this and accept your words as gospel and fall into sin will be on you. To much is given much is required and right now you are using your voice to bring down the very thing you stand for.
How can you believe some of the bible and actually continue in that religion. You may be single and sexin but you are not living by what God has called you into, which we all fall. But dont tell people it is okay according to God to have sex just bc you dont want to feel convicted. Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men[a] 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
But you were washed, you were Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. If you need more scripture check out Hebrews So if he said it is wrong, it is wrong.
I am not talking to Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing but christians. I love you as a sister in Christ and I know God will speak to your heart about Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing issue. Your statement assumes I have to choose between the two. Let us also remember that in the scriptures in 1 Cor 6, Paul actually was speaking literally, not metaphorically about prostitutes. He was speaking about new converts who slept with temple prostitutes at some of the temples of other Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing and goddesses there in Corinth, which had a range of idolatrous religions.
So it is not clear that sexual immorality specifically refers to premarital sex here. You have chosen self over being christlike. What is the definition of being a follower? We are to be like Christ and he did not have premarital sex. If you want to do it, it is your choice but dont destroy the word of God to make your choices okay. If that wasnt enough I will add more to prove God wants us to be holy.
Live as children of light 9 for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth 10 and find out what pleases the Lord.
Clearly states that the sexually immoral will be judged and in verse 8 says God is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Or am I taking that out of context, it is pretty straight forward. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
Your Father in heaven says this is a sinful nature. As a Christian and seeing the word above what other excuse can you make? are they, selfwilled, they are not afraid to speak evil of dignities. Spots they are and blemishes, sporting themselves with their own deceivings while they feast with you. I guess all this is also not relevant to sexual sin in the lives of Christians either? I am sure you will find some way to make this okay.
I pray that your heart is changed and you see and feel the love of Christ, because his love and a relationship with him would make you not even want to sin and when you do sin, you want to get it right immediately. You see Jesus is not only my savior but my friend and sin grieves God and do not want to grieve him. Will I mess up yes, Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing he forgive me if I ask for forgiveness, yes he will.
Will I be okay will sinning onto my temple, the place Jesus lives? No I am not okay with that. This walk is bigger than sex. This is a Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing and honest exploration of our intimate relationships with our sensual, sexual and spiritual selves. Thank you for so much sharing.
I think what is perhaps more infuriating is the way that the Black Church reinforces and reinscribes those very problematic social constructions, under the guise of affirming the Bible. Sin is NOT associated with the act of transgression. Once lust is formed in the heart, it is sin. This is the desire to transgress. To sin is a state of being, at the point at which we to transgress. That is the actual separation from God. The more we sin the more we will desire to sin and the farther
Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing are drawn away from God, by our OWN selfish lusts.
If we sin and live, it is by the grace of God. He is so merciful he gives us the opportunity to away from the desire to Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing. But the only thing, we do NOT know when our
Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing is up.
My question is; how can one be saved with a desire to transgress? This was one powerful piece of work, Sis. I now in my mids made this decision a few years back after never seeing any fruit on my tree in the forest of relationships. I allowed myself to be fully free. I thank God that I did. I have just forwarded the link to this post to several friends, a few students and a Dangers of christians hookup non christians throwing member.
Good thing salvation through Jesus Christ is about freedom and grace, not uncomfortable rules and self-denial. Where else could we exercise our God-given creative power to create a bigger view of God, one that freely adjusts to our needs in our time…our way.
I happened to see the link to your blog, and I read some of your writing. Hey CrunkAsHell, thanks for dropping in and for the kind words. Is fornication still pre-marital or extramarital sexual intercourse, relations, expressions? Who else thieves, liars? Needless to say, this post inspired a slew of questions in me, and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
That is the premier post in our month long series on sex, fondle, and relationships. To protect the anonymity of the CFs and so that we may request more freely, numberless of us inclination be posting that month under the Collective pseudonym CrunkAsHell.
We will again let you realize whenever a register is NSFW not safe for wield. Like most rightist Christian folks, I grew up believing, that sex was reserved for confederation. For years my sexual experiences were laden with repentance. I routinely went years at a time with no sexual contact, until I would decisively, in a supply of weakness fork out in to my urges. I was caught in a continual cycle of self-denial, self-indulgence, crime, confession, rinse and repeat, topped high by five years of celibacy.
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Going off on holiday..too ashamed to swim..how to overcome this?Just three weeks before, I found his profile on the punchline of all religious dating sites, Christian Mingle. He was a divorced, non-smoking. But when it comes to the sex life of the single Christian, it's hard to take the Bible as a very regular, intentional and unapologetic intimate connection with our own body. I think it is dangerous to keep telling Black women to deny the reality of their I'm not going to throw quotes and scriptures at you..
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